As we’re all aware, the World is a very crazy and uncertain place at the moment. The Covid-19 Pandemic has had a huge impact on our day to day lives whether it’s the routines we follow, meeting with friends and family or going to work.
Currently I’m on furlough leave from my job. My normal routine from Monday to Friday is to wake up at 6am, get the train to work, start at 8:30, finish at 5:30 and get the return train home. Like many others, that routine has been on hold for the past 8 weeks and had some level of an effect on me.
When the initial Lockdown announcement was made by the Government I didn’t really react much to it. I knew I couldn’t go anywhere but unlike a lot of people I wasn’t panicking, I was quite calm. For the first few days it felt like any usual period of leave you take, I felt rested and used my chance to partake in a daily dose of exercise by means of a walk or a run. However as the days started going by, I noticed changes in myself. I guess reality hit me.
First of all, a huge realisation was that I couldn’t see my fiancée. Unfortunately we’re currently not living together as I’m still with my parents and she’s with hers. We live about half an hour away from each other and as per the guidelines we can’t meet or stay over each other’s houses as usual.
The first couple of days felt like times where we’ve taken individual trips away with friends or the odd day here and there where we’ve been busy with work and other commitments but I started missing her and the longer this has gone on I have to admit that I’ve struggled without her.
Unlike some people, we’re sensible enough to realise that there are health and safety risks not just to ourselves but our families if we did decide to meet up so that was and still is never an option. Unfortunately, I’m asthmatic as well as my Dad so it’s a no brainer to even contemplate that.
We talk on the phone or message each other and it helps to an extent. We even took part in a virtual quiz with friends the other day but after they end for a brief period I just feel awful. I’ve cried at times and whilst I’ve been upset, the more I miss her, the worse I feel. It’s a case of overthinking during an already negative experience but I do use the breathing techniques to help when I’m feeling upset and eventually assists me in calming down.
I’ve been honest in speaking to her about my struggles and she’s done likewise with hers. Sometimes we don’t like the answers but we have to accept that the current climate isn’t ideal for a lot of us. We’re a team and we love each other at our best and worst and even though we’re in different houses, we can get through this together. This isn’t going to last forever and each day gone is another closer to seeing her.
I’ve always said she brings out the best in me and in previous posts I said she’s the best thing to ever happen to me. If anything this has made me more determined to get a house with her and plan for the future. That’s the main thing that’s getting me through this and even typing this brings a smile to my face because I’m so excited to do this with her.
Another struggle I’ve had is whilst I’ve been out running. For nearly a year now, I run a few times a week. I find it’s as good for the mind as it is for the legs and eventually I partook in my first ever 5k road race on New Years Eve. During the lockdown, I’ve attempted to keep up with my running but unfortunately I’ve experienced a few anxiety attacks.
I can usually do 5-7km but after a short distance, I terrible feeling like someone is grabbing me by my chest and I become so worried. I catch my breath and feel terribly on edge. It’s an awful feeling and I’m sure there’s many of you who know about this and how bad it is. Eventually after a while it stops but if I do try to start running again, the feeling comes back and I’m back to square one.
The only thing I can put it down to is the social distancing measures. When I’m out for a walk. I find that I have more time to assess where I am and it’s easier to keep your distance from people. When I’m running, my thought process is already on the goal of where I want to be in terms of the training I’m doing and not keeping far away from people.
For now I’ve put my running on hold. I am still going for walks, I do listen to a podcast and/or music whilst walking and find it helps. I’ve never used the whilst running as it doesn’t help me focus. I’m still getting a good amount of exercise, adhering to the social distancing guidelines and feeling a lot calmer in doing so. Once the lockdown has been lifted and we have more clarity on the health and safety aspects, I will resume my training as it’s such an enjoyable activity for me.
My sleep patterns have also been all over the place. I struggle to get to sleep and won’t drop off until 3-4am. I get up as I usually would on a day off around 9:30-10am but I find that I feel more tired in the afternoons. If I do have a nap, I’d be even worse in the nights.
I do try to keep myself busy around the house. For example I help my parents with the chores, go for a walk, do the food shopping etc but the lack of the usual Monday – Friday routine of a busy day at work clearly wasn’t the same as this. For now I just try to not relax properly until the evening. Hard I know when I run out of things to do but I have to get some sort of structure in.
I guess this whole situation has made us appreciate the things we take for granted. I even miss going into work. I have fantastic camaraderie with my colleagues, enjoy and appreciate my job so not having that to go to is a struggle but I know sooner rather than later I’ll be coming home after another busy shift.
The same goes for spending time with friends. I like going out for a drink or watching the football with a few mates and not having that as a luxury is something we all miss. We’re all human and we all have our struggles. We have our good days and bad days and we can get through this together.
The majority of us know the whole lockdown measures are to protect us and our loved ones and the more we follow the rules, the quicker it will take effect and lives will start getting back to normal. I know there’s people in more difficult situations at the moment, and my thoughts are also with them during this awful time.
I would like to take this time to thank anyone who’s a key worker during this Pandemic. Whether you’re a Doctor, Nurse, Carer, Teacher, Supermarket Worker or anyone else who’s been working during these past 8 weeks, you’re a credit to yourselves as well as the nation. You’re not paid enough to have this sort of stuff to deal with so once again, thank you.
A massive thank you once again for taking the time to read this. We’ll get through this together. Stick to the guidelines and you’ll be doing yourself, your loved ones and the NHS a huge favour.
Stay safe and take care.
MIND OVER NOISE 