We’re always told throughout life to follow our passions. Especially ones that gives us excitement and joy. This could be in a creative environment or being part of a community.
The person I spoke to for this week’s blog chat has most definitely done that. So much that he’s made a career out of each passion he’s followed and excelled at doing so.
Jonny Owen is an actor, writer, director, radio presenter, newspaper columnist and a board member at a football club amongst many other things. Just by following him on social media or watching his interviews you can see the joy he gets out doing things he loves.
This is essential of course when it comes to mental health as being in a creative environment gives us chance to flourish. We’re not in a negative environment and doing something we enjoy.
I first come across Jonny’s work years ago as he’s starred in many projects on stage and screen. He’s also presented and written shows for ITV Wales on numerous topics over the years such as the Aberfan Disaster.
He’s gained recognition for the incredible ‘Svengali’ which he wrote, directed and starred in. He’s gone on to make some incredible documentaries such as Wales’ incredible story of qualifying and wowing at Euro 2016 in ‘Don’t Take Me Home’ and tale of how Nottingham Forest became the first British club to win back to back European Cups in ‘I Believe In Miracles’.
His latest work is ‘The Three Kings’ which tells the story of Jock Stein, Bill Shankly and Sir Matt Busby and how they helped put British Football on the map as a major force in the game with their perspective clubs.
Jonny is also a board member at Nottingham Forest FC, overseeing the media and communications output at the club. Plus he presents a show on Sundays on TalkSPORT radio and has a column in The Times.
I recently sat down with Jonny via Zoom and chatted about a number of topics, all surrounding what helps him in difficult and stressful situations. I couldn’t thank him enough for talking to me and his positivity towards life is inspiring as it is infectious.
The original lockdown period was difficult for everyone. In what ways did you find that it effected you?
It was difficult because my mother and the rest of my family live in Wales so I couldn’t go and see them as I could before. It was also tough for my partner Vicky because she couldn’t see her family who live in Nottingham either.
It definitely put things in perspective and helps you realise how important that is and phone or video calling can help to a degree but nothing beats being there with them in person.
Just socialising with people whether it’s family or friends is what gets a lot of us through life. It’s massive how much we do rely on it. That could be anything even just by going to the pub. It’s called a pub that because it’s exactly that, a public house. A place where people and go and meet. Get together. Talk. I’ve missed that dreadfully.
I suppose it kind of recalibrated my thoughts on the way society is set up and functions. It’s stood out to me that reaching out to people, especially your loved ones, is essential. That interaction is not just part of our everyday life but is as important as breathing, eating or sleeping in many ways.
Its brought it all home to me just how interconnected we are. To lose that during the lockdown was the big shock and most definitely helps you appreciate it a whole lot more.
You’re very open and honest with many aspects of your life. What led you to be this way?
I’d like think that I’ve always been this way but there are some parts of my life which I like to keep private. However there’s plenty which I’m happy to share as well.
A lot of it comes from the fact that I grew up in the South Wales Valleys. We’re quite an open people and still very community led in an old industrial working class area.
On social media, I like to tell stories of my father who sadly passed away in 2017 and other stories from my family and upbringing. If someone enjoys them and finds comfort or solace in them stories then that’s fantastic. I think they could see a lot of parallels with their upbringing, especially if they’re from a similar background.
I quite like that and always try to be positive and make the stories about the most interesting parts of my life.
The world I grew up in was having a big, extended family with lots of friends: I think a lot of people who come from a similar background would find that relatable. People often tell me this and it inspires me to tell more of these stories, which is great.
I try and use social media as a positive and have fun too. Once you start taking yourself too seriously that can be your downfall. It’s essential to have a sense of humour and to sometimes even laugh at yourself.
I think those factors helps keep you grounded and you can’t help but be that way coming from the South Wales Valleys. You have to keep your feet on the ground as people around you will certainly let you know! Ha.
How important is Football to you and the communities involved in helping to create a positive environment?
There’s been a big and brilliant campaign for Men’s Mental Health and Football has been the vehicle where they’ve tried to advertise it as much as possible. They know they can reach that audience and it also displays just how powerful football can be.
It’s an audience which features many young men who, as statistics show, are the most likely to commit suicide than any other group in society.
Going to a watch a match in the stadium or down the pub with your mates is a massive part of a person’s week. That has gone and still isn’t here since the first lockdown and you can see the impact of just how important these things are in our lives.
Football has been at the forefront of the Pandemic in regards to the big debates that have occurred. Things like should footballers be giving more of their wages back? And then people realised the fact that they pay almost half of their wages in tax anyway.
People suddenly understood just how much footballers give and Marcus Rashford in particular has been extraordinary in his efforts to help feed hungry children here in the UK.
There’s also been a huge campaign to get fans back into grounds because people can see that so many clubs could go to the wall and that would be devastating for communities. I have to say that I have really struggled without any fans being there.
It’s a shadow of the game that we all know and love. I realised just how important the social side of it is.
It’s just not there anymore and even some players have been open in saying that they’ve struggled without any fans being there. The late, great Jock Stein who’s one of the key protagonists in my latest film, ‘The Three Kings’ once famously said, “Football is nothing without fans” and he’s absolutely right.
The last few months have really brought home Stein’s quote. At Forest we have been hoping to get fans back and the pilots that clubs have done have been terrific.
Football is important and I can’t wait for the day when everyone can go and watch a game together again. Of course it has to be a safe environment with what’s going on in the world and we’re very very careful at Forest. Especially with things such as testing, wearing facial coverings etc.
It’s been interesting too how the club has contributed during the lockdowns and to try and help in any way they could. Helping raise money for PPE, to be at the forefront of aiding the local food banks and trying to help with Framework, the homeless charity. Your local Football club can really be a vehicle for positivity in your community.
It’s not just a game, it’s actually helping the supporters during these difficult times. So many clubs which do that. Of course the teams around from where we come from, Cardiff and Swansea do loads, the main clubs in Liverpool, Manchester and so many other areas do the same. They’re fantastic and all clubs which have Community Trusts which work and help the local areas and that makes me really proud to be involved and working with Forest.
We had a moment about a year and a half ago where we had a Food Bank collection at The City Ground and the fans were magnificent in donating so much food. The guy in charge of the Food Banks was really emotional when he was talking to me that it was Forest fans who were helping feed the homeless in Nottingham which is incredible when you think about. That generosity of spirit.
A Football Club and the fans who support it are helping those who need it the most which is fantastic and I couldn’t speak any highly of the community trusts in the game and the terrific work they do.
Whether it’s acting, writing or directing, what is most misunderstood about your line of work?
I think the thing which is most misunderstood is directing. I always wanted to be a director when I was growing up and when I got the chance to do it I was ecstatic but I then realised just how much pressure comes with it. Ha!
You have to deliver, make sure the film is made correctly and that it sells well. That can bring some pressure but I love it, so I don’t want it to sound like I’m complaining.
All my life I’ve heard people say “I can do that” or “that looks easy”. I’ve said it plenty of times but when you get there you realise it’s really not. Everyone suddenly looks to you and you have the responsibility to make the right call.
I’ve learned that you will get it wrong as much as you get it right. I’ve then also learned its essential to hold yourself responsible for making that choice and owning up to it.
If it goes right you can most definitely take a lot of pride out of your decision making, especially the thought process which goes into it. But it is also true that you do learn more by getting things wrong. It’s tough at the time of course but ultimately you look back and think, I’m actually glad now that it happened because I’ve got better because of it.
Why do you think there is a stigma associated with Men’s Mental Health?
Obviously this is just my view on this. I can only speak from my perspective and experience. So, I think it’s because it’s not visible. If you see somebody limping, you’d feel sorry for them because the ailment is visible. For Men in particular I also think male culture has a lot to do with it. Where we come from in post industrial South Wales, it is a tough environment as a man there’s no two ways about it.
There’s an obsession about how “hard” physically a person is. When you were in school growing up there’s this ideology where you have to show strength and be physically tough instead of showing emotion. That’s where I think a large part of the stigma originates from. Going to school in South Wales when I was growing up, if you showed weakness it normally meant trouble. You became a target.
All those factors can come together and would make something important like opening up emotionally very difficult. You’re often told to pull yourself together and “man up” which can be even more damaging, especially if you’re struggling with your mental health. We all have our challenges in life and if you had a physical problem, the best way to get help is by first confiding one someone. Getting advice. The same goes for mental health.
If we are going to create a world where society is more receptive and will listen to people especially with mental health issues then it can only be a good thing. It’s impossible to be happy all the time, but we can try and react positively to difficult situations as we all have good and bad days. It’s part of life but the key point is how we respond to the bad ones. If you’re upset or feeling depressed, talking about it is essential.
So, it’s for me, possibly a combination of telling younger lads that it’s ok to have your struggles in many ways as we all have bad days, that that’s perfectly normal and acceptable. How we do that is the million dollar question of course but things have improved and more men are being open which is terrific.
There are more things in place which weren’t there 10 or 15 years ago. You certainly wouldn’t hear someone openly admitting to having mental health issues when I was growing up as it wasn’t “the norm” back then and I think that‘s down to the factors I’ve mentioned above.
So at least we’re getting somewhere as it’s now a lot more acceptable for men to open up as you see in a lot of the campaigns that are going on at the moment. But it is hard and a never ending battle. I mean is it in our DNA? What was I like as a young man growing up and to be around?
Like many of us, I joined in with the so called “banter” without realising how it could have an effect on someone. I don’t know anyone who’s perfect and don’t think anyone is. But we can all take a step back and have a think on just how much positivity we can spread by our actions.
Reflection is an important thing as it does help us grow as people. There’s things I did back then that I probably wouldn’t do now but that’s all part of growing up.
You learn by your mistakes in life and you can try and be better. It’s a very easy thing to say but if we put that in the forefront of what we do most days then you have a chance. Just try and be better. By trying to be a better person that’s a good start.
You will have hurdles and you will stumble at certain points but keep trying. I also think I’ve been lucky. I’ve never been down that dark road in the ways that some of my friends have over the years and you can’t patronise someone in that situation.
To be happy or be positive is tough for people in that black hole. It’s a rut once you’re in it. You have to listen to them. Understand what they want to do. They’ll tell you what can help them.
One of the positive things about social media is that we can talk about topics such as mental health. Of course it does have its dark side with bullying but there’s a positive side where people can talk to you, there’s campaigns and initiatives to follow. There’s so much information out there and I always think that’s a good thing. So you can get an understanding.
I always remember being back in Merthyr about 15 years ago and being out with some of my best mates. One of them knew a person who they were in school with who’d recently passed away. He broke a little bit just by telling us about it being in a pub on what felt like an ordinary Saturday afternoon. As he did one of the boys just grabbed hold of him and gave him a hug. It was perfect, beautiful even.
We all joined in whilst stood at the bar, put our arms around him which gave him support and that was key because who knows what he was thinking when opening up. How nervous or vulnerable he must have felt. But it was a brilliant thing that he did as getting that emotion out definitely helped him. Everybody was there for him which was huge. I was very proud of the way my groups of mates acted in that moment.
The right people and right friends is exactly what you need and can get you through anything. I’m a big talker and communicator so speaking out is massive and checking in on each other is key. Especially now as just checking on those we care about would mean the world to them.
When you’re in a difficult or stressful situation, what do you find helpful in getting though those tough times?
Like we’ve said, talking is a massive thing. Just communicating or sharing your problems with someone is key and as the old cliche goes, a problem shared is a problem halved and it really is.
It’s good to talk and I really also enjoy going for a run or a walk as some physical exercise is just as good for the mind as it is for the body. Breathing is something I’ve been introduced too, about 10 years ago and controlling your breathing is essential.
Just by doing that you’re calming yourself down as your body is full of chemicals which are flying around so breathing is just able to take it back. So that’s been really important to me for sure. I know some will call that mediation, which it is, but if you think of it people have been telling us for years to take ‘deep breaths’ when trying to calm us down. So it makes total sense.
Someone said to me recently, you have a radio show, a column in The Times, you make films etc, so life must be great and it is of course but sometimes I wake up and I’m tired and feel like having a day of just lying on the sofa and watching telly. We all have that and how we cope is our own journey.
Sometimes just a few days off or spending time with your loved ones helps. As I said earlier you cannot be happy and full of live every single day otherwise how would you know you were? Ha!
Just going to the pub for a few pints with my mates is huge for me. To decompress and revel in a positive and friendly atmosphere is so good for me personally. If you have a stressful few days due to work it’s important to have that happy place where you feel more at ease.
I always feel stressed when a new film comes out as it’s going to be judged by critics and all that. I can’t help it. If I give myself a treat by going for a pint and a curry with my friends like giving yourself some rewards then that helps me.
What would you say to someone who is struggling and doesn’t know if talking about it is the right thing to do?
I would say from experience and from speaking to people like yourself that it’s always a good thing to do. As I said earlier, a problem shared is a problem halved and I do think it’s similar to when you’re in bed and it’s 2am, you can’t sleep as you’re restless. You’re lying there and it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
Isn’t it amazing though when the morning comes and you shower and you go out of the house how different you feel in comparison as to when you were in bed lying there thinking in the middle of the night.
Perspective changes everything and talking about our problems can be the same and just release the pressure and rationalise everything. It can get you to a place where you reflect and can’t believe what you were thinking previously.
Having a chat whether it’s a friend, family member or a professional will help release that stress and the weight on your shoulders.
I remember thinking how the shadows of the branches of a tree look like in your bedroom as a kid. The wind and lashing down. Well those same branches don’t look like they’re coming for you when it’s light and your walking past the next morning in the sunshine and it’s the same with dark thoughts or a brain numbing problem. It really can change.
As you can see from his words, Jonny is a very positive person and it definitely resonated with me. The time I spent chatting to him flew by and he definitely hit home on a lot of the points we spoke about.
I’m glad he uses his upbringing and memories to help give a positive vibe as anyone who follows him on social media will tell you he’s an incredible storyteller. I can relate to some as I’ve also grown up in the South Wales Valleys and come across some similar characters to what Jonny describes in his tales.
He knows what to do when he’s stressed and realises that talking and being honest is essential. As a bloke it is tough at times to admit to ourselves that we’re struggling but like many of us, Jonny is supportive of challenging the stigma which sadly still holds a lot of men back. It’s important that we support each other and thus getting the help we need.
Like me, Jonny loves his football and some of my favourite social memories have been at football grounds and in the pub with the boys. His love for the game has taken his career to new heights with filmmaking and of course his role with Nottingham Forest.
Thank you once again to Jonny for taking the time out of his busy schedule to talk to me. He’s a fantastic person and can’t fault him for being driven and following his dreams. He’s smashed it in every aspect and it’s a joy to see.
At the end of the post, I shall post some links and information regarding Jonny’s radio show, column and his new film, ‘The Three Kings’. I can’t wait to see it as I love a good Sports Documentary and everything he’s made so far has been incredible.
Hope you’re all safe, take care and until next time I guess I’ll just see you later!
Radio Show – Jonny Owen & Friends, every Sunday 9-11am on TalkSPORT
Column – Jonny Owen|Extra Time, thetimes.co.uk
Film – ‘The Three Kings’ is now available to buy or download from all major retailers.
Instagram – @jonathanowen71
MIND OVER NOISE 