I’ve met so many incredible people in the near 12 months that I’ve been writing this blog. Every one of them have had incredible stories to tell whether it’s sharing their own battles with mental health or working hard to raise money in aid of the many great organisations which support the cause.
Everyone’s story is different on an individual basis, but if there’s one thing they all have in common it’s that being honest with yourself and reaching out for help will only benefit you.
By reaching out, you’re making a huge step by allowing yourself to come out of the dark periods fighting. You’re showing that you won’t let the negativity win, you’re strong and pretty damn awesome.
The person I’ve spoken to for this week’s blog pretty much does exactly that. Luke Jones has used his experiences to help and inspire others with his Facebook page ‘Start The Conversation’. On the page he offers guidance for anyone who’s struggling whilst showing there’s no shame in admitting you need a bit of help.
He’s recently appeared on both BBC and ITV Wales News to speak about his views regarding the over eagerness to prescribe medication for mental health conditions without any real conversation or understanding to the person who’s struggling.
He’s a fantastic mental health advocate and yet another incredible person I’ve spoken to on this journey I’ve been on for this blog.
I’m so grateful that he agreed to sit down with me over a Zoom chat to talk about a number of factors including mental health, music, coping mechanisms and so many other important topics.
You’ve been doing a lot of campaigning for mental health via your ‘Start The Conversation’ page on Facebook. What inspired you to do this?
It all started when I had a really bad experience speaking to a doctor. I called them in order to seek some help with my mental health and it was a really shit time to be perfectly honest with you.
I didn’t expect them to be that lackadaisical and blasé with their approach but they were and that really surprised me. Obviously when you’re in a state of shock like that you do get on with it in some ways but I did speak to my family and my partner about it.
The common response I had from telling them about my experience was that it wasn’t the right as to how they approached my problem. I started looking at other support systems on the internet as a way of responding to this and by doing my own research I found that the way I was treated was occurring quite often.
It’s a shame that a common theme such as this is apparent but it was and there was a lot of people like me who felt sort of brushed off if anything by their GPs. I wanted something that would bridge that gap between starting a conversation around mental health and getting help as a result of it.
There’s so many mental services out there who do incredible work but there’s a lot of GPs who aren’t aware and directing people towards them. Like if you live in Cwm Taf, this is what’s available and the same for RCT or any other area.
That’s why I set it up in order to promote these fantastic services but also to talk about mental health a bit more, share my story and if anyone has gone through anything similar and/or feels they can speak about their own problems to me privately and I do a bit of signposting as well.
Those are some reasons I set up the page but also I knew that ‘Start The Conversation’ would be a good handle to have but also I wanted to delve into what starting these conversations meant for other people. It could have been anything like spotting certain traits and behaviour changes with a friend, family member or colleague and how to start a conversation with them.
On the flip side I also try to highlight that there’s a lot of difficulty in doing that at the moment due to those social interactions aren’t available at the moment due to the lockdown. It’s a lot harder to notice these things and help others due to the challenging times we’re in.
The main reason I started it was for people to feel empowered and to start talking about mental health more openly without any stigmas. If they feel unwell and low but confident enough to speak up and get help goes a long way and I really wanted to help with that. My own experiences gave me so much motivation but the research that I did really did give me a push in the right direction as well and here I am today.
I’ve only been doing it a month but the response has been incredible. I was always in two minds about it as I always had the “why” factor but not the “how”. How can I get this across without it turning it into something where people are talking over each other like a forum.
I wanted a more community feel I guess and I’ve always had a good feel from a Facebook page when I’ve used them for the bands I’ve been in over the years. It’s good to get your message across but also have people speak to you, it works wonders both ways so a page was a fantastic way to get this message across.
I’ll also use Instagram as I do get a few messages on there and the same with Twitter but I feel there’s more traffic on Facebook so that’s the main point of focus for the time being. I’m always learning as well which is an essential part of what I’m doing and I love it.
You’ve been very open about your concerns about the state of mental health care during the lockdown, especially with medication. What issues have you come across and faced yourself?
The main issue I found was the over eagerness and nonchalant approach to upping people’s medication without any real thought of what the medication does and how it helps a person with what they are going through.
Like I said on the page, you can’t complete mental health, it’s not like a computer game where you go through different levels and complete it.
There has to be short and long term goals with mental health which will help us along our journey to a healthier wellbeing. The majority of people that I’ve spoken to has said pretty much the same thing which is that they’ve felt low or depressed and have been prescribed medication over the phone without any real guidance or explanation.
Some of these people have never ever been given meds before yet they’re given them so easy and that’s a concern for sure. What needs to be explained is that the tablets will enhance your mood and you will feel like shit for a short while.
Things will start to get better and these are just the little conversations that aren’t happening right now and it just isn’t really good is it?
It’s not like you have a bad throat and they give you antibiotics. With a GP I totally understand that they are a “general practitioner” and not all of them have a fantastic approach to mental health.
However if you call up and are seeking help like that it should trigger something. If they can’t help, why not refer you to mental health team?
The Cwm Taf Health Board have a mental health crisis team who do some fantastic work and the more research I do, the more amazing services I find but that’s through my own search. How come I’ve had to dig for all that? Even if the doctor said “I can’t go too much into it but the meds will do x, y and z. Here’s a number for this organisation who will give you further support and are happy to help.”
It’s just utilising the services that are already there and to know they’re not being promoted or advertised as much as they should is just mind boggling to be perfectly honest. Yes, there’s a lockdown on and our health services do fantastic work even in these stretched and challenging times.
I’m very aware and respectful of the work they do and I’ve never mentioned the practice or the GP that I had my bad experience with. I never ever want any heat towards them as it’s not the individual that needs to change, it’s the system. I just want the higher levels to take note and make more of an effort strategically to try and put this message out there.
For example, the Welsh Government said that they’ve given £20million to mental health services and I’d challenge that by asking where has it been spent? What’s the evidence that it’s being used as something like a radio ad or social media campaign doesn’t cost the world but it gets peoples attention.
You can target areas with a ready made marketing tool which would help so many people and create a better environment.
I know people who’ve had excellent care from GPs.
Some to the point where the doctor has called them once a week to check in on them and continued to monitor how the medication is effecting a person. Like it can effect you diet and other ways but I’ve never had a medication review. How is that slipping through the net? It shouldn’t be like that for something that so many people experience.
I was so pleased with the way that both news pieces came across as it was just as I wanted to it be. Just like I’ve explained to you and with the BBC report, the reporter spoke to me beforehand and explained that they were speaking to MIND and the health board. They weren’t just going to treat it as Luke having a bad experience with a GP so they’d go and hammer them.
Instead they used the bad experience to highlight exactly what I wanted and that’s the bigger picture and what needs to be done. You always worry if what I say gets taken out of context as they speak to you for an hour and they only use a few minutes on the telly.
Thankfully both were incredible and the ITV one even went to put the case to the Health Minister, Vaughan Gething. This is the reality of lockdown and what services are doing. I wanted to know what the Minister would do about it but I knew he’d give a pretty shit answer. He’s going to dodge it with a politicians answer and sadly he did but loads of people saw it and that’s the first thing people said was that he was very lazy with his answer.
That is starting a conversation and sorry to do a shameless plug but that’s exactly what I want to do. If you don’t talk about it and get people involved you can’t get these changes done. The more we do, the more of a difference we can make.
How important is music to you, especially in difficult situations?
Music has been everything to me since I can remember really. I also think it’s masked a lot of my mental health issues for a long time to be perfectly honest. Growing up and being in bands, feeling a part of a tight knit group, touring and being creative is just incredible.
For me, there’s no better feeling than being up on stage with your friends and playing a gig to a crowd. Having the reaction from the audience is my favourite thing to do and it just fantastic. I’ve loved doing it for many years and will do so for many more to come.
Due to the lockdown it’s hits home big time that not only do I miss it but I realise just how big it is to me in my life. It’s unbelievable just how much of a gap it leaves when you can’t play or go to gigs. It really hits home just how much it means to you.
Aside from gigs, music is a massive part of my life in other aspects. If I’m feeling a bit low or bored, I’ll plug my guitar in or and play loudly. Same if I chuck an album or a playlist on but I’ll warn my partner and my kids that things will get loud for a bit so Dad can rock out!
The main theme is that music most definitely helps me so much through difficult times. The buzz you get from it is nearly indescribable from a playing standpoint. Of course there’s so many people like yourself who miss going to gigs and it shows that so music can get you through anything.
Whether that’s a live setting or listening to a steaming site or a record, it’s massive.
I love putting my headphones on when I’m out for a walk. The good thing with sites like Spotify is that you can shuffle playlists so you can get through so much music. You can find so much on there like I’ve discovered Swedish pop artists through there which I never really listened to before, but I’ve grown to love them. It’s so uplifting along with other Scandinavian artists.
I do lots of talks in my job via the college I work at with health and social care students. What I tell them that music is essential from such a young age. Like children can learn the cues and moods from a happy song. In play school they have songs for breakfast and lunch. It’s engrained into us from such a young age and as we get older it really is the soundtrack to our lives.
When we’re teenagers, something like the emo scene was such a relatable and poignant period for teenagers. You saw bands have songs with lyrics about their struggles and you couldn’t help but relate to that and it was so important to this very day.
If you do like creative writing, that whole scene was something else. Bands like My Chemical Romance, Funeral For A Friend, The Blackout and so many others were essential listening. The content was so good and what a time it was to be part of that scene.
I loved emo music to listen to but couldn’t write it. I grew up in a funky, soul kind of household. Like the band I was in called Cornerstone had a saxophone player and we were so off the cuff compared to the bands we knew and loved but it’s what we knew.
There was one gig in Merthyr where we were on the bill with Kids In Glass Houses and The Blackout and that difference was felt that night for sure.
The feedback we got was that it was funky but in comparison it wasn’t very good. Being in Cornerstone was different but it’s what we loved doing. Some people ask why didn’t we make it? We didn’t because we weren’t making the right songs and we were swimming in the wrong direction.
We did have a really following and it felt good and looking back I’m very proud of it. After that I played in a pop/indie band called OK and we played gigs like the Big Weekend in Cardiff. We were on the same billing as Funeral For A Friend and Attack Attack which was massive to me. We were proper indie pop, and playing to a ‘Smash Hits’ type of audience of emo kids.
You can only play what you’re comfortable with and playing in front of thousands of people is mind blowing. Sharing a tent with bands you look up to is crazy but further proof just how much I love doing it so I have so many great memories to look back on.
It gives me such a buzz. I still do a little bit of original stuff on my own but mainly I’m in a covers band named Noughts and Crosses with my brother. At first it was a bit soul destroying playing Snow Patrol for the 500th time but eventually I realised we were good and getting a really positive reaction from the crowds.
Going back to what I said before, it really puts in perspective just how much I miss playing and there’s such a good feeling that comes from a live setting. That’s a gripe and it feels like a job as we play parties and weddings but it’s so good and really fun to do. I wish it gets back to normal soon because I and so many others miss it.
It’s so beneficial especially with something like mental health because you’re expressing yourself or relating to something creative and meaningful. Like I said there’s very few things than can replicate that and I don’t know where I’d be without music.
What are the main goals that you wish to achieve with the campaigning?
I just think that while I feel well and confident, I just want to talk about mental health as much as possible. That and I want to help people understand that it’s a transient thing.
As I’ve spoken about many times, I was clinically depressed and it’s the lowest I’ve ever been in my life, but as you get to those lows you can get to some amazing high points too. You might dip again but there’s sustained periods of mental health where you feel good and that’s something I really want to push as I feel it isn’t covered as much as it should be.
I know we talk about it more openly but not the actual illnesses. I’m all for the “it’s ok to not be ok” message but at the same time you want to get deeper into it. You want to say to people, here’s the places and support you can go to get help and put more substance behind it.
Little memes and things are good don’t get me wrong but having a person behind it and someone to talk to is just something completely different in terms of being beneficial. To speak to someone trustworthy and willing to let you be open is massive so to focus on that more is something I really want to do.
I also want to push the social aspect more. Of course we’re in a lockdown right now but things get better I want to do more social activities like a ‘Wellness Wednesday Walk’. I’m a strong believer in community spirit and doing something that for a positive thing will help. Especially those who don’t really have anyone to talk to.
I’m lucky to have an amazing partner, family and friends as a really strong support network but not everybody does. Having that extra thing in a community setting is huge as you can come along on your own and there will be someone in the same boat as you.
You can have a chat but also give your legs a workout on a walk so you’re benefitting yourself both physically and mentally. That feeling of being in a community is special too as you bond with people and that feeling of loneliness goes away.
It’s an exciting prospect and people are engaging with me on the page and hopefully it’ll take off once the climate allows us to.
What do you wish was more well known about mental health?
I suppose that the way some employers look at it needs to be addressed. I mean who’s going to ring up saying that they’re depressed in order to fake a sick day? If someone’s reaching out, it’s taken a lot for them to do and that could be them suffering from anxiety, depression, PTSD or any other form of mental illness.
I don’t like people thinking that others would use it for their own gain. A lot of information is easily accessible via a click of a button but employers need to be more aware of these delicate situations. By being more aware and having that education you can support people a lot more.
I’m lucky that I work for a college and they are amazing with me. They’re so helpful and my boss is a legend where I can feel like I can speak to someone and it hasn’t been an issue. Over the past few years sadly I’ve lost grandparents both passed away in a short space of time and work were so supportive.
If I needed a bit more time off, it was never an issue. Even though I had bereavement leave, they told me to take all the time I needed. Of course I needed a doctors note which is easy enough to do but unlike my former employers my current ones are incredibly supportive.
My former employers weren’t helpful at all. They were awful, they hounded me and put me in a disciplinary after coming back from being on the sick. It was all because someone has seen me smiling in a picture on Facebook which had been taken whilst I was off.
Their argument was that I couldn’t have been depressed because I was smiling which is fucking ridiculous. How can you punish someone for smiling? Also now that I look back on it, the photo in question shows that I’m smiling but I felt so low at the time, it’s a forced smile if anything. It was an awful day and someone asked for a pic of me and my brother so I just went with it.
I never did that job the same after that period. From there on I looked for another job and felt the bridges were burned. If you feel you can trust the place you work at to help you in these difficult times then they’re not worth your time as an employee. We’ve come so far and to feel like a number is just shit.
You have to show concern and empathise with someone. If you get a sick note it shows you’re unwell but some industries will pull your pants down to make you feel like you’re worth nothing unless you’re in work. Much more education is needed across the board as so many other people have said the same and employers definitely need to be more understanding.
What else do you find helpful in overcoming difficult situations?
Exercise is a great one for me and it needs to be promoted more as a broad way of coping with difficult situations. Like you don’t have to be a Cross Fit addict with chiselled abs or one of those Peloton trainers you see on telly either. You can alienate so many people with that approach.
The first time I walked into a gym I was in such a bad place both physically and mentally. I was the heaviest I’d ever been where I couldn’t do just one press up. Luckily for me the gym I went to had just opened up so they were very nurturing in the way they were with me.
It saved my life as it gave me a spark that I didn’t know that I needed. They’ve cottoned on to exercise and it does benefit you by releasing those endorphins gives you a massive boost. Whether it’s a gym session or going for a walk, it will do you the world of good and I highly recommend it.
Another is the social aspect. Even with things like this blog chat, connecting with people is massive. My tip is to understand what makes you happy. Do what you love and some days you’ll feel low but on the days you don’t, the feeling is fantastic when you’re doing something you love.
I advocate talking, but have fun with it as well. There’s lots of things you can try and a lot of them might not be for you. You won’t know what’s for you until you give it a go.
What would you say to someone who is struggling and doesn’t know if talking about it is the right thing to do?
I would say talking has always been a positive experience. Whether it’s given me a positive outlet or a new connection with a friend that I haven’t spoken about that type of thing before, it will be good for you.
Even if I’ve shared a Facebook status or tweeted something, I’ve never had any bad feedback from it. Some of the stuff I’ve shared has been really close and personal and I’ve thought against sharing it but the outpouring of love and support is a huge boost.
If people don’t have the confidence to do that, there’s amazing services like SHOUT where you can text that word to 86258 for help and you’ll speak to someone who’ll support you.
Whatever you do, try to talk to someone whether it’s a friend, family member or professional. By doing so it’s benefiting you and by many examples we’ve seen, it can and will save your life.
I think it’s fair to say that Luke has most definitely gone into this with tremendous ambition and desire. Not only to share his story but to help others as well as challenge the stigmas and challenges we face on a daily basis with mental health.
He’s put himself out there which is a great and brave thing to do especially when it comes to appearing on TV. Many people wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it but he knows that by doing so he’s spreading that message on a National scale. Full credit goes to him for doing so.
If you don’t speak up and highlight these issues, you won’t see any changes happen. Regarding the medication and treatment offered by GPs, like Luke said there are loads of fantastic doctors out there but there are cases which show that more can be done.
If they aren’t sure about what to do in terms of support, offer the amazing services and organisations that are out there. Yes medication can help, but there’s so much to it than that. Hopefully this will change in the near future and with people like Luke speaking up, I’m sure it will happen sooner rather than later.
I’ve only really got to know him these past few weeks but we’ve got mutual friends and like the same type of music. He’s a cracking bloke and judging by the conversation I had with him for this blog post, you’d swear I’d known him for 20 years.
His campaigning is detailed as it is passionate. I highly recommend you check out his page on Facebook as he doesn’t do this half hearted. He’s 100% the real deal with this type of thing and I’m sure many people will find his content relatable and educational.
It’s great to see someone with so much passion with mental health campaigning. He definitely goes onto a list with the other fantastic advocates I’ve spoken to and the many others out there who do incredible work.
His passion for music is also great to see. I remember seeing him play as part of OK at Cardiff’s Big Weekend and I remember listening to Cornerstone back in the day as well. Next opportunity I’ll get to see him play live, I will as I’d love to go to a gig as I’m sure so many others want to as well!
I’ve shared information below to Luke’s page for ‘Start The Conversation’ as well as the links to the new reports as well as his socials for himself and the music side of things. I wish him nothing but the best as he goes forward in everything that he does and it’s great to see another one of the good guys out there doing amazing work.
A massive thank you goes to Luke and everyone who’s taken time to read this. Hope everyone is doing ok and if you ever feel the need to have a chat, my DM’s are open.
Hope you’re well, stay safe, take care and until next time don’t think of this as a goodbye but more of a see you later!
Start The Conversation
Facebook page – www.facebook.com/StartTheConversationWales/
News reports – https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-56087135
Luke’s Music Pages
www.facebook.com/LegoManMusic/
www.facebook.com/NoughtsCrossesBand/
Luke’s Social Pages
Twitter – @LukeRhysJones
Instagram – @legoman88
MIND OVER NOISE 
I think your blog and you are phenomenal. I can relate to so much of what you say. You come across candidly and openly and it’s refreshing as too many MH advocates can seem a little too patronising.
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