I’ve said so often in the near 2 years that I’ve been doing this blog that mental health doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t pick and choose what person it has an effect on, no matter way of life you lead.
This is a topic that can be very misunderstood and even ridiculed by some parts of the wider community which only stigmatises mental health further. That goes against what so many organisations and advocates are doing as education is key. The more we know and understand, the smaller the stigma becomes.
From a personal level, I’ve learned so much. I’d be a liar if I said that in the past I’ve read a story about a celebrity struggling with mental health and had the attitude of “oh, they have everything? What have they got to be sad about?”. Looking back now, of course that wasn’t the way to think and unfortunately I’ve had my own battles in order to come to that mindset.
The way I think about it is this, you wouldn’t say the same thing if a person had a very serious physical illness. A lot of people still see mental illnesses as a “mood” instead of an actual condition that requires treatment. It’s said so often that “mental health is just as important as physical health” and it couldn’t be more true.
Again, from my experiences, I used to tell myself to “snap out of it” but as time grew on I realised it just doesn’t work like that. Eventually, I sought out some help but confiding in my loved ones, went to the doctor and eventually started counselling. The counsellor I spoke to was incredible in helping me understand that “health” was the key word. By being prescribed tablets, that was to help me along with being encouraged to go out walking and do positive things.
With some physical illnesses, you’re also prescribed tablets or medicines along with being encouraged to be active and try healthier foods. It’s not the doctor trying to be awkward, they’re saying it because it will help you going forward. That comparison was like a light bulb going off in my head and I started seeing it as a health issue instead of me “just being in a low mood”.
By understanding what the counsellor was telling me, I also realised that my anxiety and depression were not just “illnesses” but it could impact anyone. We all have colds, coughs and headaches and unfortunately so can mental illnesses. It was a bit further on when I started researching and planning for this blog where I found examples of people from all walks of life can be fighting their battles, even those who seem “to have it all”.
One example which stood out was comedian, writer and one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever come across, Stephen Fry. In 1995, Fry walked out of a stage production in the West End and went missing for several days and he even contemplated suicide. Instead he “disappeared” as he left the UK on ferry and didn’t resurface until some time later in Belgium.
What Fry experienced was a nervous breakdown. Later on he would be diagnosed with cyclothymia, which is a form of bipolar disorder. Fry has since spoken openly about his condition and his experiences, which was featured in the documentary ‘Stephen Fry: The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive’. That show was such an eye opener as Fry not only shared his own story but also spoke to other high profile figures like Robbie Williams and the late Carrie Fisher about the condition.
He’s also been honest about the times he’s contemplated suicide, the most recent time being in 2012. Fry was filming abroad and took a huge amount of pills and vodka. In his words he “had to be brought back to the UK to be looked after.”
Fry has since used his experiences to help others in similar situations by becoming involved with the charity, ‘Stand To Reason’. This organisation is based in the UK which aims to raise the profile of those struggling with mental health as well as fighting prejudice and to achieve equality. His campaigning has encouraged many to come forward to get much needed help and that for me is incredible.
He’s using his profile to not only educate but to assist those in need. He didn’t have to do that documentary but I’m so grateful that he did. It was so educational and proves once more that anyone can have their struggles, even those who appear “untouchable” to us. I commend any well known figure who comes out and speaks about their mental health. So many people will resonate with it and that for me is what a true role model is.
Look at Joe Marler. He’s a Rugby Union international who’s been given much deserved acclaim for opening up about his struggles. By doing that he’s ignoring the stigma that’s attached to men’s mental health, especially in a sport like rugby. The classic stereotype of a rugby player is that he has to be strong and tough off the pitch as well as on it. However, like the rest of us, they’re also human beings and Marler has come out to emphasise that.
Last year, during Mental Health Awareness Week, Joe Marler fronted his own documentary, ‘Big Boys Don’t Cry’ where he traveled around the UK to open up the conversation around mental health challenges, meeting people along the way who are learning to manage their mental wellbeing.
Marler also shared his own experiences and explained how he went to see a psychiatrist, was prescribed medication and decided to be honest so he opened up to his wife and his close friends. This gave them a better understanding to what was going on but at the same time it helped Marler get that weight off his shoulders by confiding in those who matter the most.
He also emphasised that seeking out help is not a quick fix. “It’s more of a growth thing. I could be on anti-depressants for six months, six years, or the rest of my life. It’s about understanding what they do for me, how they help me and accepting that.”
That for me is once again, a massive boost for anyone in a difficult situation. It’s another massive blow against the stigma as well. So many people will take inspiration from what Marler has done. It’s once again someone in a high profile position giving back and helping inspire people. He doesn’t have to but he has because Joe Marler cares and doesn’t want people to suffer in silence.
Since doing the documentary, he’s gone on to front his own Podcast and still carries on the message that it’s ok to open up about your battles and by being in a so called “macho environment” by being a Rugby Player there’s absolutely no shame in being upfront about your troubles. He is proof and other players such as Gareth Thomas, Dafydd James, Lloyd Ashley, Tom James and Jonny Wilkinson have also shared their stories to further eliminate the stigma associated with men’s mental health.
Another incredible advocate is Dr Alex George. The “TV Doctor” found fame on ‘Love Island’ but has since been in the spotlight for a totally different reason. Since February 2021, he has been The UK’s official Youth Mental Health Ambassador where he works directly with the government’s Department of Education. His campaigning began after sadly losing his younger brother Llyr to suicide in July 2020.
In January 2021, Dr George launched a campaign requesting the UK Government prioritise mental health amongst children and adolescents, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. As a result of his campaigning, he met with Prime Minister Boris Johnson who appointed him as the first ever Youth Mental Health Ambassador.
George also became a member of the Mental Health in Education Action Group. They discuss the best way for children to return to education during the pandemic and ensure they receive the support they need during these challenging times.
The work Dr George has done since is incredible. He’s worked directly with the charity, Children In Need resulting in the much praised documentary ‘Our Mental Health Crisis’ where he sheds light on how much attention is required on the ever growing numbers of young people who’re fighting their battles.
Dr George commented on the film by saying, “I am so proud of this film, and the stories that we have been able to tell thanks to the courage of the young people who have so bravely shared their stories. These past 18 months have been incredibly hard, and have impacted the lives of so many children and young people, many of whom have been left feeling sad, anxious and alone, but I hope this film brings hope, and shines a light on the remarkable charities and projects across the UK that are making a difference when it is needed most.”
He worked directly with charities and projects like SAFA, The Wave Project and YoungMinds on the film which is still available on BBC iPlayer. After losing his brother, Dr George was inspired to help those in desperate situations by challenging the stigmas as well as seek help from the government to help combat this. There’s so much to do still but there has been great developments since Dr George has started his campaign and deserves massive respect and admiration.
He’s an incredible advocate and I wish him all the best. He’s one of my “dream guests”
to interview for this blog as he always speaks so passionately about his work and his goal of helping to tackle these issues.
The examples of these incredible people are proof that you can be from totally different backgrounds, have different ways of life and occupation but still fight your toughest battles. Stephen Fry is a genius and legendary comedy performer but has still had his problems with mental health. Joe Marler has played 72 times for England and been on British and Irish Lions tour in Rugby Union and has sought help for his mental wellbeing.
Dr Alex George went through the pain of losing his brother and honoured his memory by trying to ensure nobody else feels so lonely that desperate measures are taken. It’s these people that inspire me to do this blog and make sure I do the right thing when I feel low.
I’m just a normal guy with a 9-5 job but I have anxiety and depression. If someone who’s a billionaire that seems to have it all also suffers with their mental health then I’m not going to look at them with disdain because I know at the end of the day, they are human. Health can deteriorate in any of us. We can be fine one day and catch a cold the next. The same applies to mental health as we could have a good day then the next isn’t.
I don’t see why we still have to see mental health as something that’s a weakness. Seeking help is not a weakness, if anything it makes us stronger and if a celebrity or high profile figure inspires me to do better by myself than I respect and admire the hell out of them for doing it. If they wanted to do their healing in private, the same respect would go to them because they’re still showing the strength to seek help.
This proves once more that mental health does not discriminate. Anyone of any way of life can be effected. It can have a hold on anyone of us. It just goes to show though what a strong support network can do though doesn’t it? Whether it is a private conversation with a loved one or speaking up publicly, a cry for help is loud enough for someone to notice.
Thank you for reading this post. I hope going forward that the stigmas continue to be pushed further away and there will be less hesitance for people to seek help. Remember that you matter and we’d rather you seek help and still be here with us. I realised that and I don’t want to feel any different ever again so if things do feel that bad for me, I know I’ve got a strong support network.
If things get a bit worse, I know I can speak to someone who’s not a stranger but understands me via the work they do. I’ve posted a few details at the bottom of this post for some mental health organisations who do some incredible work. They offer support, guidance and most importantly understand you.
Take care, stay safe and remember storms don’t last forever. Don’t think of this as a goodbye but more of a see you later!
MIND – 0300 123 3393, http://www.mind.org.uk
Samaritans – 116 123, http://www.samaritans.org
Anxiety UK – 03444 775 774, http://www.anxietyuk.org.uk
MIND OVER NOISE 