Chapter 9 – Social Media

The rapid rise of social media over the past 10-15 years has meant that we as a global population are more connected than we’ve ever been. It’s established an entirely new standard of human interaction via the likes of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. This allows us to be connected to our family and friends 24/7.

However, the effects of using social media has been proven in having a major impact on our mental health. Research has shown that there is an association between social media use and mental health. For example, a British person checks their phone on an average of 28 times per day.

Also, by 2021 it is forecast that there will be 3 billion users of social media worldwide. Whilst these apps do have their benefits, using them too frequently has been shown to make us unhappy and isolated in the long run.

So called “social media addiction” has been identified as a form of compulsiveness and a need of short term and instant gratification. The desire for a “hit” of dopamine (the chemical in the brain associated with reward and pleasure) and a failure to achieve instant gratification may require a person to repeatedly refresh their social media feeds.

Now this could be anything from a message from a friend, a reply to a comment, a retweet or a simple like on a status. What has been found as a negative reaction especially with young people is that this would deem them “unpopular” or “unfunny”.

A study conducted by the University of Copenhagen found that many people suffer from “Facebook envy”. The study finds that that we desire a sense of worth based on how we’re doing in relation to another person.

A lack of gratification could bring on feelings of anxiety and loneliness, something of which I can relate to. When I was going through a bad point in my life, I became very reliant on social media.

As I’ve previously touched on in previous posts, I was single and had very low self esteem. One of the worst things I would do is compare myself to others via the means of social media. I’d go through many feelings of loneliness and envy just by seeing pictures and posts showing people being happy on Facebook.

It wasn’t a healthy thing to do but I’d come away with a feeling of “if they’re happy why aren’t I?”, and constant scrolling and refreshing just kept on increasing these feelings. This would further my belief (which I’ve explained in previous blog posts) that I was the problem and cause me to isolate myself from any potential relationship.

Thankfully, when I did open up to one of my best friends, I did mention how I’d see “everyone else happy” on social media and how it made me feel. They instantly told me to realise that this was only increasing my insecurities and that this was another major factor in me requiring help.

I opened up on the social media aspect to the doctor when I visited them. They advised me to not use it and go “cold turkey”. At that point I didn’t use any social media for nearly 3 months. It was a difficult concept at first but knew deep down it was a way of helping me get a clear mind and begin a process of a healthier mental wellbeing.

It also helped my concentration levels and helped me focus more on work, conversations and caused me to take up other means to pass the time such as reading. Also, of course I’m now engaged and very happy in a relationship.

I am back using social media however nowhere near the level as I was. I now understand that the break helped me realise the negativity it brought me and the that it helped me on the path to a better state of mind.

Looking back, I can also put a lot of my issues regarding social media down to the fear of missing out (FOMO). This seems to increase feelings that others are having more fun or living better lives than we are. The idea of missing out has been found to trigger self esteem issues, anxiety and prompt us to use social media on an even greater scale.

This is something that has been researched and studied by The Centre For Mental Health. The organisation found that 1 in 4 of us will feel a lack of involvement or a sense of anxiety after seeing an example of a person or persons enjoying themselves via a social media post. And focusing on this negativity would then have a detrimental effect on our personal and professional lives.

The main point that I took from this is that it is essential to talk about whatever issue you have. In my case it was loneliness and excessive use of social media will only increase the bad feelings. When it got to the point where I opened up and started getting help, a clearer mind also helped me see that overuse of social media is not a safe haven.

Another part of social media which has been found to have massive impact on our mental wellbeing is cyberbullying. Sadly this can effect any of us whether it’s young or old.

About 10% of teenagers have been reported to have been or are currently being targeted by online bullies. That goes without mentioning the many more who’re suffering in silence.

Twitter has been found to be the most reported means of cyberbullying. It’s been known to be the most common way of targeting a person who hurtful comments. Sadly this type of abuse has been reported for almost as long as the site has existed.

Blogger Ariel Waldman was one of the first users to describe just how difficult it was to deal with the abuse which came her way. Sadly in her case, a stalker published her personal contact information which prompted a string of threatening and abusive tweets.

This prompted the good nature of users to demand that the Twitter hierarchy to take swift and immediate action against users who only use the site to cause harm. Some celebrities like Olympic diver Tom Daley have been able to get Twitter to suspend accounts on a temporary and permanent basis.

Daley’s example was a person targeting him after he missed out on a Gold Medal in the 2012 London games. The user described his performance as “letting his father down” who sadly passed away before the games. The reaction caused many to demand action and the user’s account was permanently suspended.

Sadly we see many cases where we don’t see a positive outcome. There are numerous examples of people taking their own lives due to online abuse via social media. Whether it’s a comment, being tagged in a derogatory post or being abused via direct messaging, there are many people still being harassed by online bullies.

Twitter, Facebook and other sites have made huge steps in combating cyberbullying. For example you can filter notifications, specific topics or words and reporting negative and abusive content has been made a lot easier. Whereas previously, users struggled to understand whether their reports were going noticed or not, they now receive notifications when and if the site has taken action.

There’s even means of the law becoming involved. Arrests have been made in response to people being harassed and abused online. Examples such as racism, threats of sexual and physical violence have caused for arrests and prosecutions to be made.

Using studies and new algorithms, Twitter are also working on preventing previously abusive and flagged users from creating new or multiple accounts in which they can abuse other users. Scanning email addresses and phone numbers can be a way of finding potential and consistent bullies.

The more this issue is addressed, the safer it will be for us to use social media. I myself have come away from using it feeling terrible after being tagged in a post or comment which has targeted me.

Granted, I can see how much of it can be perceived as a joke, but when it gets to a point where people you don’t even know are messaging you privately and commenting on your page, it did increase feelings of anxiety and made me feel very small. So much that it caused me to take another long break from social media and even caused me to avoid going out and break down crying to my fiancée and other family members.

Blocking people can only go so far. It also helped me realise who really were my friends and although maybe I was over reading and overthinking certain things, I know that there’s a fine line between a joke and hurting someone’s feelings.

I know that many of us, myself included have said things in the past which may have been taken in a different and negative way of which was initially intended. We all make mistakes and I’m always looking to learn from and accept my mistakes. But if you continuously do it, then you’re only going to keep causing harm to others.

Thank you very much for reading once again. Remember that there’s plenty of avenues to go down if you’re experiencing any abuse via social media. Also if you feel you’re experiencing any of the symptoms of anxiety or any other negative feelings caused by social media, please speak to someone.

I have posted some links below to some fantastic online articles which helped me. I will also encourage as always to speak to friends, family or a professional if you’re struggling.

As I say on many of my blog posts, we’re in this together. So if you can relate to any of these issues, remember that there’s a huge amount of support to help us.

Many thanks once again, stay safe and take care.

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/social-media-and-mental-health.htm

https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/looking-after-yourself/social-media-and-mental-health/

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/tags/social-media